As part of my final year of undergraduate study, I reflected on my thought process and the research that was involved in the creation of my piece, "The man behind you has bad intentions". Within the reflective essay, I examine a brief selection of the musicological history of the gendering of instruments and of musical material as a way of understanding how I expressed the notions of societal masculinity within my piece. I do feel that there were certain elements that I could not address within this brief essay. My first issue was that in analysing the concept of gender within music I did not have the word limit in order to fully express the difference between gender, sexuality and biology. This issue is somewhat minor, but in validating my argument I do believe that notions of sex intertwine with that of gender and are vital to defining how the oppressive societal notions of masculinity have developed. My division between sex and gender within the essay is, therefore, a mechanism to limit myself and to provide restrictions on what I can analyse thoroughly within my limited word count.

In my critique of Susan McClary, I am highly appreciative of her combination of feminism with musicology, however, I do believe this research is somewhat exploitative in achieving her aims but nonetheless vital in outlying many issues within the construct that is Western Art Music.

A major issue within this essay that I merely allude to is the significance of inspiration/intention that brings about the construction of a piece of music/art. As music is a highly interpretive art form, I make the claim that composers (primarily, but this act is also one done by performers, conductors and orchestras) will enforce their inspiration onto a work through its title, programme note and any further research/material provided (such as this very essay in relation to my piece) in order to provide their audience with some insight into why the composer has created the work and what the work means to them. This issue is huge in the whole realm of art, in that I find many 'artists' will allocate subject matter in such a way to exploit sincerity from their audience (an example being Penderecki's "Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima") and as such it raises the question of authenticity to the facade or "illusion" (as suggested by Stravinsky) of what a composer does. 

It is my personal belief, in my continuing reflection of my artistic practice, that the inspiration and ideas behind the work, although they may not be clear due to music's ability to be interpreted freely, is inherent to the musical material within that piece. I associate this to being in the same way in which creatures don't consciously think about breathing, and it is in this unconscious function that I believe allows for the subject matter of the work to be present within the musical material of the piece. I know such an idea cannot be relayed to other composers, in that many I find many lack any sense of artistic insight and depth within their work and by the capacity of many composers to write music for music's sake, but for me this topic of research of how we translate our emotional feelings and interests into our chosen medium (as I have done with music) will be fundamental to my development as both a composer and as an artist.

If you have any questions for me concerning this specific piece of research or any of the thoughts/reflections I have provided on the work, please feel free to contact me. Click here for access to the piece.